Let’s discuss… what is a “slut”?
I’m sure many of us have used this word in disgust at a woman we don’t like. Maybe thrown this word out after a woman sleeps with a man we like or simply find attractive. Or, maybe even, used this word toward one of our good friends whose sex life is different than ours is. I know I have at all of the above, and it’s not something I’m proud of.
My late 90’s early 2000’s Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary my Gram got me for high school graduation (I’m sure she’d be thrilled it’s being used for this purpose, haha) defines a slut as:
“1. a slovenly woman
2. a – promiscuous woman, especially a prostitute
2. b – a saucy girl : minx
I typed into Google the following: Define: Slut
and got this:
1. a woman who has many sexual partners
2. a woman with low standards of cleanliness
Anyone else seeing the problem I am? The word slut, is used as an insult to a woman who *gasp* dares to own her sexuality unabashedly. A WOMAN. Neither definition says “a person” or “anyone”. Neither definition includes “man” or “male”. It is, simply, a woman.
Yesterday a friend posted an article about the slut shaming of Bristol Palin in the wake of her announcement that she is pregnant. I am NOT a fan of the Palin family, overall. However, I think that calling Bristol, a twenty five year old mother, a slut is a bit insane. Hear me out…
Yes, she’s a hypocrite. After her first child, Tripp, was born Bristol became a spokeswoman for The Candies Foundation and recorded a few PSAs on teen pregnancy. That’s not so bad. That doesn’t even make her a hypocrite… she was simply showing that life as a teen mom wasn’t easy or glamorous and attempting to deter young girls from getting pregnant.
However, she was also an abstinence educator, and therein lies the hypocrisy. It’s fine that she decided to abstain from sex until marriage and to turn it into a job as a speaker. However, to stand in front of how many thousands of people (I’m assuming) over the years and preach waiting until marriage when she actually wasn’t… that’s not okay. That, you guessed it, makes her a hypocrite.
But how does her hypocrisy make her a slut?
Figure it out yet?
There is no set number of sexual partners or sexual encounters that is used to call a woman a slut. Generally, that word seems to be thrown around when others are uncomfortable with a woman taking charge of her sexuality or they are jealous of the great sex and confidence that woman has. Neither one is an appropriate reason to call someone a slut!
Think about it… a man has sex and nothing is said. He has sex with one, two…ten partners and no one bats an eye. He takes a woman home from the bar and he’s hot shit. However that woman will likely be called a slut. Why is it that in our society men are “allowed” to be sexual creatures and women are not?
Bristol was engaged and nearly made it to the nuptials, but something happened and it didn’t pan out. She was with a man she planned to spend her life with and got pregnant, and from what she posted it was not an accident. She made the CHOICE to get pregnant. Now that she is single again she is making the choice to have the child. How does this scream “slut”? It doesn’t! Hypocrite, yes. Slut, no.
The idea that a woman taking charge of her sex life is a bad thing is something that needs to be erased from our society. It goes even deeper than being called a slut. If a woman is sexually assaulted, they are asked what they were drinking/wearing/doing/saying. Automatically the blame falls on her because she’s a woman and of course the testosterone filled man just couldn’t help himself. Heaven forbid if that woman is someone who has had sex before- that vile temptress! Are you freaking kidding me!? It is absolutely insane that this is the society we live in! It’s time for a change. Women are not looked at as property of men in this day and age so they should stop being treated as such in all respects.
It’s fine to have a lot of sex. It’s fine to not have sex at all. It’s fine to wait until marriage. It’s fine to have sex with as many partners as you so choose, so long as they consent. No one should ever make anyone feel bad for their sexuality.