Higher Ground

As always, I am terrible at blogging.  I can’t tell you how many times I had a thought, an idea, or an event that made me WANT to write.  But then, I just didn’t.  Depression is a MFer.

So here I sit, awaiting yet ANOTHER wonderful north east Ohio snow storm that OF COURSE has to happen on a Sunday so I get to drive in a mess to work at 6:15am on Monday morning because even when the weather forecasts call for snowmageddon, somehow the cities are never ready for it.

I bought a new planner today.  This was the highlight of my day.  And I know there are those of you who don’t know me out there confused as to why:
A) I am buying a planner when it is almost March, as opposed to doing so at the new year like a “normal person”
and/or
B) Why buying a planner was the highlight of my day

It’s because… I as of March 30th I will be back in school to obtain my Master’s Degree in Psychology with a concentration in Gender Studies.

I have always wanted to go further with my education.  The problem was I was so stunted when it came to options.  I have my BA in Human Development and Family Studies.  This has me working at a local child care center – where the money isn’t half bad and the job is really fun.  However, I paid HOW MUCH for that piece of paper and I am changing diapers and wiping snotty noses of children who are not my own.  I knew online schooling would be my best bet – I could still work full time without rushing to and from class.   But, honestly?  The only things I could think of were in the education field or counseling.  Both require outside practicum hours that would be nearly impossible to make work within the confines of my work schedule.  So, I gave up.  Maybe I just wasn’t mentally ready to think about going back at that time.  Maybe I was just terrified (oh wait, I still am!).  Whatever the reason was, it just didn’t happen then, or any of the handful of other times I really started to look into Grad School again.

A few weeks back I had a conversation with a friend of my husband’s who is a HR person.  She was trying to help guide me into a new career path as I had expressed interest in getting out of child care/teaching and doing something… more.  I craved more.  I like to think I am good at what I do, and I do enjoy it… but I need something different to make me fully happy in my career.  Shortly after that conversation I was reading posts and chatting with one of my favorite people on the planet.  Unbeknownst to her she was inspiring me through her work that she is doing within human sexuality.  It got me really thinking that maybe I could turn something I am majorly passionate about into a living for myself.

Things that I am passionate about:  Ending mental health stigmas, GLBT rights, Breaking traditional gender roles, sexuality within rape survivors or eating disordered patients…. just to name a few.

Forward to another conversation with another lovely lady who got her Masters degree online and is now working on her Doctorate.  She encourages me to check into the school she attended for her Masters… when I start searching through offered programs I was becoming discouraged.  It was more of the same… until I saw the Psychology program offered a concentration in Gender Studies.  It clicked.  I *KNEW* it was right for me.  I went for it.

I had the day off of work on Monday (funny how that worked out…) and reached out to the school.  Now here we are.  I will be studying online at a Regionally Accredited University and within eighteen months to two years, depending on how I stagger my courses, I will be finished.  My mind is absolutely spinning at the ideas I have and the jobs I can look into once all is said and done.

Am I nervous?  VERY.  I have ADD and because my husband and I are trying for a baby I can’t be on my medication.  I have anxiety and depression that can be overwhelming at times.  However, I also have the support of my husband and close friends who all believe in me.  My mom and a few other family members that know seem very excited for me and are encouraging as well.  I know it will take some work, and maybe more work than the ‘average’ person.. but I can do this.  I will.

Here’s to new beginnings and hopefully a whole load of success.

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